Chasing Shadows: The Pursuit of Comfort

While running along a local route a few years ago I caught myself doing something subconsciously that became an analogy for what I was seeking in this endeavor and where I was going wrong. The trail followed a nice 4.2-mile circle through oak-lined streets. At one part it veers off to the left toward a local YMCA and ballparks, which are also nicely lined with trees. The trick is that the trees are on one side of the street, and there are parts that are broken up, so depending on the time of day you are running, the shadows can be anywhere. What I was doing this day was locating the shadiest portions and crossing streets here and there to stay under the shade as much as possible, even though it costs you a little bit in pace to wait for cars or slowing down a bit to spend a little more time under the cool oaks. It makes for an easier run.

At least in your mind.

Runs being what they are, your mind can tend to wander, and I catch myself doing this all the time. I started thinking about “chasing shadows” during this run and then started thinking about how we do this in many aspects of our lives. We chase shadows in our personal lives, trying to find the easiest way to live in order not to feel the uncomfortableness of the “sun” or the “heat”. We try to find the easiest path. We also do it in our work. We don’t go for the hardest job, or the one we really want, because we have bought into the limiting belief that money is more important than liking what you do or enjoying your job …. So, we leave positions that we love to make more money and end up hating every minute of the day.

What’s the lesson? Do we stay uncomfortable in the heat, or seek the easiness of the shadows?

When I lost my job at a cancer center and spent the better part of a year unemployed it was eye-opening to me. I left a position that I loved, and with people I enjoyed working with, to take a job that offered more money and opportunity and KNEW within two weeks that it was a mistake. But I gritted my teeth and did the best job I could, which was essentially unappreciated by most people I worked with and eventually cost me my job because of a childish grudge from a staff member. Normally someone who had done a good job and made huge improvements would be fought for in this situation, but I was terminated for an issue MANY people at this company participated in and had not been terminated over. I am not saying that I did not make the mistake, because I most certainly did, but fairness and equal treatment is a big thing for me. I was singled out and made an example of when others were doing the same thing, and that just doesn’t sit well with me.

I have learned to make decisions that are good for my soul, not for my wallet. Money cannot be the focus of your decision-making, nor can comfort. We cannot grow and change with a degree of discomfort. In fact, I would argue that discomfort is a requirement of change. I was not comfortable being forced to look at my life and admit to the mistakes I had made.  But I also have come to understand that this was a required part of the reawakening I have had in the past year. I had to be honest with myself, and with others, and let the fallout happen with the knowledge that at the end of it all I would be a better person, a better man, a better friend, and a better brother. 

There is nothing wrong with chasing shadows to give yourself a second wind, but eventually, you must get back out in the sun and learn how to survive in it. Surround yourself with those that support you and stand by you and rid yourself of those that do not. The pruning of the tree had begun in my life in 2020, and new growth was already being seen.

But even with clarity of thought and plan, there are always pitfalls, and being relentless once the decision is made to change is the key to success.

Human beings are inherently programmed to seek comfort and avoid pain or difficulty. This instinct is deeply embedded in our biology, a survival mechanism that has guided us throughout history. Your observation of yourself naturally gravitating towards the shade, even at the slight cost of pace, is a microcosm of a broader tendency to find the easiest path in life.

The metaphor of chasing shadows can be extended to various aspects of our lives. In personal relationships, we might settle for superficial connections rather than risk vulnerability and deeper intimacy. In our careers, the pursuit of money and status might overshadow our passion and values. These are shadows we chase, ephemeral comforts that, while pleasant in the moment, may not fulfill us in the long term.

Facing the Sun: Embracing Discomfort

On the other side of the metaphor, the sun represents the heat and discomfort of reality, the challenges that make us squirm but also forge our character. The very nature of growth involves stretching beyond what is comfortable, confronting our fears and limitations, and taking risks.

The personal experience of leaving a job you loved for a higher-paying one that eventually led to dissatisfaction and termination illustrates this beautifully. The lure of money and the shadow of comfort can sometimes lead us astray from what truly matters. The story highlights the importance of aligning our choices with our core values and passions, even when it means facing discomfort.

The termination itself, though painful and unjust, forced a self-reckoning and a realization of what matters most to you. In this, the sun's heat served as a catalyst for change and growth. It's a lesson that sometimes, the difficult and unfair situations in life are the ones that lead us to a higher level of understanding and purpose.

Balance Between Shadow and Sun

While the metaphor of chasing shadows and facing the sun captures a duality, life is seldom black and white. Sometimes, chasing shadows is a necessary respite, a chance to gather strength and reflect. Like taking a brief rest under the cool oaks during a run, seeking comfort isn't inherently bad. What's crucial is the awareness of when this pursuit becomes a trap, leading us away from authentic living.

Finding a balance between comfort and challenge, shadow and sun, is a delicate art. It involves self-awareness, a recognition of when we are merely seeking ease and when we are genuinely nurturing ourselves. It means being honest with ourselves about our motives and desires.

The Journey Continues: Growth and Resilience

It is my hope that these reflections and insights demonstrate an understanding of personal growth and resilience. The "pruning of the tree" in your life, the process of letting go and embracing new growth, is a powerful image that captures the essence of transformation.

Change is never easy. Pitfalls, doubts, and setbacks are part of the journey. Being relentless, as you've pointed out, is the key to success. That relentlessness comes from a place of clarity and conviction, a firm belief in the path you've chosen, and the resilience to keep moving forward.

Conclusion

Life's path, much like the run, is filled with twists, turns, shadows, and sunlight. The choices we make, whether to chase shadows or face the sun, define our journey. These insights offer an exploration of these choices, the balance between comfort and challenge, and the wisdom gained through the experience.

The pursuit of what's easy and comfortable is a natural human tendency, but it can lead us astray. The courage to face the sun, embrace discomfort and align with our values, is what leads to authentic growth and fulfillment.

As we continue on our paths, with new growth and clarity, may you find the wisdom to navigate the shadows and sun with grace and determination. The story is a compelling reminder that the richness of life is found not just in the shade but in the brilliant, sometimes harsh, light of self-discovery and transformation.